


I hate James Potter a little less

by mithomas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gay Male Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29828016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithomas/pseuds/mithomas
Summary: After Regulus is kicked out after his parents find out he is pansexual he called Sirius, who he has been keeping in touch with since Sirius left home at 18 (therefore being disinherited), to let him know he wouldn't be living there anymore. Sirius meets up with him to bring him back to his flat so he has a place to go consequently meeting his best friend too.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	1. Leaving the Blacks

**Author's Note:**

> ALL CREDITS TO THE TRANSPHOBE FOR THE HARRY POTTER UNIVERSE AND THE CHARACTERS (JKR)  
> TW- HOMOPHOBIA AND MILD ABUSE  
> This is a modern AU  
> Regulus is 19 at this point  
> Sirius and James are 21  
> James and Sirius met at the local university after Sirius left home  
> Regulus was in his first year of university before he was kicked out and didn't have a way to pay for his degree so had to leave.  
> First ff so I know it'll be bad, even though no one will see this lol.

His hands trembled as he quickly forced all the clothes he could into his backpack to escape the hell he lived in. His name bounced off all the hallways with his mother being the one yelling it, his father for once- stunned to silence. The door was locked which gave him about 10 minutes before Walburga and Orion somehow found a way in to his only escape from the prison his parents called a home. This all started about 30 minutes prior when someone leaked pictures of Regulus kissing another man at a local club, a place he most definitely didn't get permission to go. He didn't even know the mans name, all he knew was that he was drunk and was his type. His face was littered over twitter with titles ranging from ''The Blacks now have two black sheep'' to blatant homophobic slurs, but what do you expect when you live in a homophobic city and have a family that are, in his brothers words, _loaded_ meaning they constantly lived in the limelight because of an old family business. This made Regulus uncomfortable, he always had to keep up an act for the public. 

Before he knew it the door was being abused by Walburgas hands, Regulus shivered at the thought of her hands- used to smack, punch and abuse him in the past, but _oh_ had she moved on from physical abuse, the old hag now just used her words, which made him feel worse than the kicks ever did. His bag heaved with clothes, it was now or never. He quickly unlocked the door and the she-devil came tumbling in with her husband not far behind. Deciding it was best to just drown out the screams, he had time to master the skill from when Sirius lived at home, he dodged them and attempted to make his way down the hallway to the staircase with his bag on his back before a hand grabs his wrist and stops him walking. ''Don't do it, you walk out that door and you're left with _nothing,''_ that word echoed through his mind, nothing, that's all he was right? 

''But you expect me to stay here when I you both for parents?'' he spat back, he didn't know what to say. Orion expected him to stay when his mother behaved like a child? No, he could, he wouldn't. 

''We aren't having another disappointment of a son," Walburga bit. 

In that moment, he decided he was never coming back, his original plan was just to escape and drown out his sorrows somewhere until his mother calmed down, but this- this was the last straw. After Sirius left all the stress went to him, it ate him alive, it burn him out, drained him. He ripped his fathers hand off and just ran. He ran and ran and ran until he barely recognised the houses around him. What the fuck does he do now? The only thought in his mind was Sirius, his chaotic, wonderful, nothing like his parents brother. He has asked him to run away with him but he was 16, he thought he could cope, obviously not. Before he could bring himself to look at his phone he walked to the nearest bus stop and waited for the first one and just got on. He didn't know where he was after a while, but that was good, he felt a sense of freedom. Something that was sadly new to him. He pressed the bell and kept his head low as he got off. Luckily no one had noticed him, yet at least. Then the walk began again. 

It was about 7pm before he checked him phone, ignoring all the notifications he calls Sirius praying he will reply. The ringing was deafening, it felt like an eternity. What was he going to do if Sirius didn't reply? ''Sirius pick up your fucking ph-''

''Reg? Are you okay?''

''I- no. Sirius something really bad has happened.'' His eyes began to swam but no tears fell. 

''Where are you?'' He had never heard his voice so monotone, so calm and angry at the same time. 

*1 hours later*

Regulus had been waiting outside this pub for 10 minutes, the three broomsticks. The table was sticky, the floors looked like they hadn't been brushed in months, but in the same way it felt disgusting, it had a comfortable and homely atmosphere. Everyone in the pub seemed to know each other, their own little family- it made him feel sick with, jealousy? Sticking out like a sore thumb wherever he went did make a person feel like that. Sirius asked him to meet him there so he got a taxi, just using his card to pay. May as well make the most of it before he gets froze, or whatever the fuck his parents were going to do with his bank account. 

(messages)

Sirius:

S: Outside, with a friend. He gave me a lift but we can get a taxi to mine if you need. 

R: Its fine. Ill be outside in a sec. 

S: Alright. 

(messages over)

The car ride was silent, he sat in the back seat behind Sirius, as far away from the person driving he could get. James was the drivers name. ''Why the fuck is _James_ here, the nosy bastard?'' Regulus thought, though he wouldn't say it out loud he was jealous of James, he got to enjoy his time with Sirius, but what did he get? A constant fear of being smacked for having fun as a child with him? He didn't speak, he knew it was rude. James was trying to be polite but at least Sirius knew better than to pretend everything's okay when he was upset. And _oh boy_ was he obviously upset. It was about a 20 minute drive and by now it was already half 8 at night. Soon enough did he realise that his brother and _James_ lived together. He just nodded when Sirius told him, no need to waste his breath, or was it because if he spoke he felt like he'd start crying and never be able to stop? They lived in a flat, they took the lift but Regulus just said he'd walk and meet them there so he could a few minutes to think. 

_12C_

That was their door number, what does he do know. He stared at the golden writing on the ugly green door. Does he knock, does he just walk in? Knock. Thats polite? Yes. He knocked and rather than the door being answered he just got a ''come in you idiot, the doors open'' from Sirius. He was in the kitchen with James making tea, the smell made him sick. he couldn't even think about eating or drinking right now. What if Sirius was homophobic too? What would he do then?

''Tea?'' Sirius offered. Why was he so calm? It made Regulus angry. He just wanted to scream, yell, cry, punch something. 

''No thank you" he croaked. 

"Lets go to my room, James ill see you later at work." He smiled, he seemed so much happier. This was the first time they saw each other in 3 years, he'd barely changed which was a comfort. 

Regulus turns to James after Sirius walks out of the open kitchen, he smiles before looking down at his tea again. Regulus begins to trail behind Sirius. The flat was quite nice, it wasn't overly big but the bedroom was a decent size with a double bed in the middle. It was full of so many colours unlike the rooms where he _used_ to live which was mainly dull greens, greys and blacks. Sirius turned back to look at Regulus after he shut the door. Before Regulus could think, could count to calm himself down, prevent him from showing emotion, his bag dropped from his shoulder and tears welled in his dull grey eyes, but the the tears just didn't stop. They kept coming, the overflowed, poured down his face, he sobbed like there wasn't nothing else left to care about in the world, that only this mattered. His chest hurt, he felt like he was hyperventilating. He couldn't think of anything else, he zoned out. Before he could realise Sirius's arms were wrapped around him and help him as his knees gave out. Sirius practically cradled him as he sobbed. He cried for himself, for him not being able to be _normal,_ for not being a good enough son, him being pansexual, no one understanding, the constant abuse for 3 years after Sirius left. This was the first time he cried in as long as he could remember, he normally internalised it all, felt he had to uphold an image even when he was alone. It felt like a life time before his wails became whimpers, before the screaming in his head became whispers and he could hear his brothers comforting shushes. When silence came all he could bring himself to say was "im sorry"over and over again. Sirius helped regulus up before he even said anything and aided him towards his bed. They sat at the edge of it facing each other. 

"Regulus...what the fuck happened?" Regulus paused, he had to tell him, he'd see it on twitter soon anyway.

"They-they found out Sirius, you know how Mother and Father are," his voice trailed off, "homophobic" he whispered. 

"Is that what its all over?" he asked. 

"I think its more the fact I just got up and decided to leave, there's pictures all... over twitter where me and a boy... kissing.You know what image they wanted us to have"

'Reg..."

"Then I was also out without permission and I just left but I've... not told anyone about the boy so I think it was all just so overwhelming" he began to regret everything he said, his heart pounded and felt like he should never have said anything at all. He was looking down, too scared to make eye contact. Why wasn't he saying anything? "It was a mistake coming here, im sorry I dropped this on you, I get you think its disgusting too, so-so do I. Ill see you around, tell James I said thanks for the lift" he blurted out. He went to stand up before he got pushed back down. 

"You fucking idiot, I don't give a shit. You're staying here. Sleep in here tonight, I was going to go out tonight but ill stay if you want so you aren't alone with James." Regulus smiled, he really thought that'd be it, he though his pansexuality was going to be the reason he'd be left. 

"Okay. But no, still go. Ill be alright."

"Alright, well," he smirked, "pyjamas are in the bottom left draw if you need some, just go into the kitchen if you need anything," with that, Sirius stood up to make an exit. 

"Wh-where are you going if... you don't mind me asking?"

"To Remus's"

"A friend?"

"If you _must_ know, he's my boyfriend, of about two years. You should meet him" he smirked. Regulus stared at him in shock. Them Sirius walked out leaving him with his thoughts. 


	2. Their flat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus is in the flat when Sirius goes out so its just him and James. Reg can't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- POSSIBLE MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND HOMOPHOBIA  
> Wow I did NOT think anyone would read this omg

Regulus on the bed shocked. He was so nervous to tell his brother he was pansexual, for this. FOR THIS! His brother was gay, or at least a little? His chest filled with happiness to the point of it hurting, he didn't know what to do with himself. He knew he wouldn't be sleeping, he never slept much at his _old_ home when his parents were in, like he subconsciously knew it was a bad idea, and now he was in a new place practically sleeping under the same roof as a stranger. A stranger who was kind enough to give him a lift, one who was friends with his brother. What if _he_ was homophobic? No, he lives with Sirius who is openly... whatever he was. "I should apologise." he thought, I mean it was a good idea right? He was rude. But what if he heard him crying before? Thats _embarrassing_. Maybe he didn't? 

In that moment Regulus decided it was his life now, he didn't need to cower of do what anyone else said. The _Black_ house was toxic, this isn't. This isn't, he repeated in his head the whole was as he stood up to go to the door. His hand was about to reach for the door before he decided it was best to at least get changed first. He walked back to see where he dropped his bag earlier, it was on the hardwood floor in the corner where he dropped it a few minutes prior. He picks it up and just decides its best to empty to contents out onto the bed, he could at least fold it then. He picks the bottom of the bag up and shakes until everything falls out, he packed less than he though. The bag was quite small now he thought of it. What the fuck did he pack? His mind was that stressed at the time, he didn't even pack pyjamas or anything worth while. Jeans, a few shirts, socks. Not even ay underwear. "Good choice Regulus, very smart." he thought. He folded up the clothes and placed them back in his bag and headed towards Sirius's pyjama draw, he was only a little smaller than his brother. He was about 5"10, Sirius 6"0. The clothes were bound to fit. He pulls out a simple white t-shirt and some navy jogging bottoms. The waist was a bit tight so his under wear would show if it wasn't for the top. He was quite slim, never really found the time to work out more than in his room when he was bored. Although he had all the time in the world when he was at the Blacks, he felt like there was never enough, consumed by hearing who was walking up the stairs so he knew where best to sit in his room to seem productive so he didn't get shouted at as much. "What a glorious childhood Reg." 

He walks towards the door, his feet slipping slightly from having socks on and the floor being wood. His hand was on the door knob,, he took a few deep breaths to prepare for James to be out there- waiting for him to come out so he could laugh in his face. No! Not everyone was like that, not everyone was like the Blacks (minus Sirius) right? He opened the door slowly taking in his surroundings, in front of him was the back of the couch and the Tv then to his right was the kitchen and the room on the right he presumed to be James's. He couldn't see James, he was probably in his room. Regulus walks towards the kitchen, he didn't have anything in mind he wanted but thought it was a good idea to get to know his surroundings at least. Deciding on a glass of water he realises he doesn't even know where the glasses are. He stands there for a second feeling awkward and as if he shouldn't have left the room. 

"top right cabinet is where the glasses and cups are," James says. It startles Regulus, he was surprised he didn't even hear his footsteps behind him. 

"Er, oh yeah. Thanks," he reaches up and gets a glass and as he uses the sink tap to fill it up he turns back to James who is looking through the fridge, "look- I'm sorry about before. I was in a really bad mood from what happened this morning and-"

"It's forgotten, don't worry," James interrupts,"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable when I feel awkward I just ramble and ramble, well like I am now" he laughs. 

"I guess I'm the opposite, when I feel _awkward_ I just say nothing. But I mean then again, im probably the one who made it awkward" Regulus feels comfortable, as if he judged James too quickly. 

Regulus turns back to see the drink over flowing so turns the tap off and empties some of the drink out. James was eating some grapes he got from the fridge leaning on the counter. His hair was darker than anything he'd ever seen before, all the hair springing off in its own direction as if it couldn't be tamed. But some how it suited him so much, "if his hair was any different it probably wouldn't suit him so much" Regulus thought... in a completely platonic way, he convinced _himself at least_. The kitchen was briefly stunned to silence which made Regulus want to escape as quick as he could, nothing happening always made him think something was going to which was unnerving. 

"Well, I'm going to bed. Sirius let me use his bed for the night. Erm- thank you for letting me stay."

"Its alright, you're Sirius's brother. Sleep well." James smiled. He stepped up from leaning on the counter and in that moment did he realise how tall he was, 6"2 to be exact. Regulus went to walk off, James near the exit of the kitchen. He walked closer before stopping practically in front of James but didn't look up. 

"Im sorry if you heard anything before." Regulus whispered. He didn't make eye contact just looked down, almost ashamed of showing his emotions. 

"I heard nothing. Goodnight Reg."

Regulus walked off and back towards the door trying to look out for the bathroom so he at least knew for future reference. He looks around while walking back, it was on the right of the TV. He opens the door and quickly but quietly shuts it behind him. He looks for a coster for the cup so it didn't leave a mark, there was some on the bedside table. He places it on there and gets into bed. Regulus lay on his back just staring at the ceiling wishing for the relief of sleep. For it to consume him so he didn't have to feel anything for a few hours. An escape from his life that feels like its already spinning out of control but now, now it just crashed, exploded, practically set on fire. What a wonderful Saturday night. 

The clock read 10pm when he last checked it, was it stupid to check it again? He couldn't remember if he had slept or just zoned out for a while but when he checks it again it was 3am. What a waste of a night. He gets up tp move his now empty glass so he didn't have to in the morning. Maybe a 2 minute walk would tire him out. _Yeah totally_. He leaves the room to notice James lying on the couch completely passed out. His glasses still on his face, Regulus doesn't want to disturb him so he just walked to the kitchen and placed the glass on the side and walked towards the toilet. After he used it he just stared at himself in the mirror as the tap ran, he washed his hands then his face. He walks out to see James sitting up, "sorry if I woke you."

"Oh no its fine," he stretched, "I didn't mean to fall asleep anyway."

"Oh, what're you staying up for if you don't mind me asking."

"Erm, nothing its fine." Regulus wanted to know but didn't push, he barely knew James after all. 

"I can't sleep, any recommendations to help?"

"Erm well I normally just watch TV until I fall asleep, I like the background noise. I was actually going to put a film on if you wanted to... watch one with me. Then when you're sleepy you can walk back to pads room."

"Pads?"

"Oh, sirius. Just a nickname. Well- the offers there if you'd like."

"Yeah why not." He walks towards James but sits as the other end of the couch. 

"Any ideas? I normally lord of the rings or something because Ive watched it that much I don't have to pay a lot of attention to it" James smiles sleepily. 

"Ive never watched them," Regulus states. 

"Oh my god. Im putting them on. You're uncultured." James jokes.

"You sound just like Sirius."

"Thats a good thing right?" James smirks as he sets up the first film.

"Hmmm, just neutral I guess" Regulus laughs. 

"The films about to start, you can't insult me anymore shush." James says dramatically. 

Regulus laughs and turns to the TV. He was quite a cold person but the flat was really warm which was nice and comforting. He curled up bringing his knees to his chest and relaxed into the coffee brown, corduroy couch. 

*Thirty minutes later*

Regulus's eyes hadn't left the screen, he was completely invested in the series. He turns to James to see if he was okay to see he had fell asleep sprawled out at the other end of the couch with his glasses still on. Regulus paused the TV and turns it off, he'd rather watch it later than disturb James anymore than he already had. He stands and gets the blanket thrown over the back of the couch and puts it over James, he gets a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, it must just be worry of James catching him doing this, it'd seem weird right? He goes to leave but sees James's glasses still on. He looks over him for a second, he seems so peaceful, so handsome when he's asleep. _Handsome? Anyway..._ He bends over and slowly takes James's glasses off, he doesn't want to disturb him but sleeping with glasses on just seemed uncomfortable. He only did it to be helpful of course. James tosses over to his right side still completely oblivious to Regulus looming over him. 

He felt weird and the feeling in his stomach intensified so he walked towards to the door of Sirius's room and gets back into the bed. He doesn't even check his phone before a wave of tiredness consumes him and he is free from reality for however long that may be. 


	3. The shopping trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes on a shopping trip and finds out where James and Sirius work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reads, I had no idea anyone would read this. Thank you so much!  
> This chapters a bit shorter than usual so I apologise :( ill make up for it with chapter 4!

Regulus awoke around 9, the morning light filled the room blinding him as he forgot to shut the curtains. His eyes burned and rolled over from his back to his stomach and put the pillow over his head trying to return to his happy place even if that was just for a few minutes. He lay there before he realised it was no use so he sat up to check his messages. Sirius. 

*Messages begin*

S: Be home in an hour to get clothes before work. (8:30am)

*messages end*

"He should be home soon then," Regulus thought. He stretched and got up. The floorboards were cold beneath his feet, he quickly put socks on and made his way to the bathroom with James not on the couch anymore. He knocks on the door to make sure no one is in there before entering. He washes his face, soon realising he doesn't have a toothbrush- or any toiletries for that matter, I guess he's going shopping today. He dries his face off and exits the bathroom and hears the door open, Sirius is home early. "I didn't expect you to be up," Sirius calls from the kitchen. "Me either, but I am quite tired."

"James and I have work at 11 if you need a lift anywhere he can drop you off or you can chill here if you want."

"I need some toiletries to be honest so the lift would be helpful," Regulus walks towards the kitchen but refuses to keep eye contact, "Thank you," he whispers. 

"Reg, its Fine. If anything im glad you're out of the hell hole. Now fuck off and get a shower, you stink. We are leaving in an hour, if you need any clothes you know where they are." Regulus laughs faintly before exiting and going back towards the bathroom for a shower. Did he really smell? What if James thought so too but was too polite to say anything? It's fine! Sirius was probably messing with Regulus after all. 

Regulus takes his clothes off and throws them in the corner, a shiver runs down his spine and he thinks back to what Sirius used to say when they were little, "when you feel a shiver down your spine it means someones walking on your future grave." It made him laugh, it was one of few things he vividly remembers from his childhood, he must have blocked everything else out. He walks towards to shower turning it on and stepping out so he could wait for it to heat up. He waits about a minute blissfully thinking about nothing before he steps in to the steaming shower. He lets the water pour over all of his skin before he lets the water soak his hair. There was multiple shampoos and conditioners, all probably Sirius's, he opens some and smells them all. Citruis, strawberry, avocado and coconut, vanilla... vanilla. A sense of comfort he can't make sense of washes over him so he decides to use that. He pours the vanilla shampoo into his hand before scrubbing it through his black curls. He begins to wash it out as he hears the door open and he quickly turns his head, "Hey Sirius, im not looking but I wanted to ask if we were leaving a little early for work bec-"

"Its Regulus, its Reg." He blurts out with a hand covering his...

James turns away towards the exit before saying, "Oh my god, i'm so sorry. I'll just... i'll leave." The door swings shut and he lets go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding. His hands return back to his hair as he rinses the rest of the shampoo out and applying the conditioner. 

*10 minutes later*

Regulus walked out of the bathroom with the white towel wrapped lowly around his waist. He walks through the living room before knocking on Sirius's room and hearing he can come in. Sirius is on the phone so he briefly smiles and exits his room leaving Regulus alone. He wears his own pants, dark beige trousers with one of Sirius's many band t-shirts. He brags his wallet from his bag and puts it in his pocket before putting a hoodie over and leaving towards the kitchen to get something to eat, finally. Sirius was now off the phone eating some cereal at the counter but he couldn't find James. "Get yourself some cereal we are going to leave soon, James wanted to get to work early and it makes sense too so we can drop you off at the shopping centre."

"Erm, yeah. What- what bus can I get to get back here?"

"Probably the X23 or the 64A but I mean it'd make sense to just walk the bakery its only 10 minutes away."

"Alright, I never pictured you to work in a bakery. Maybe James but not you."

"Oi you cheeky sod," he laughed,"James offered me the job when we met at uni, I do it on the side while im finishing off my courses so I can be a sports therapist actually."

"I need a job, do you think they'll have a job centre at the shopping centre?"

"Erm, I think so. While you're there you should get some clothes so you don't have to wear my tops by the way." he sniggered. 

"Im doing these tops justice I have no idea what you mean," Regulus returned. 

"Oh hey James we can leave after Reg has had something to eat," James slowly turned pink and just nodded before getting a coffee and sipping it while looking through his phone as he leaned on the counter top. 

*time skip to being in the car*

Regulus sat in the back with his headphones in until he got a scent of something he recognised, vanilla. James. Fuck. He began to shift uncomfortably realising he used James's toiletries. What if he found out? Why was he also happy he got to smell like this even if it was just until he bought his own stuff. He was a mess. Before he realised the car had stopped, he quickly thanked the both and scrambled out the car barely making it out on two feet. As he walked in he didn't exactly know what shops to go to first, he decided on getting shampoo and all of... that sort of stuff first. He strolled through the aisles before finding his usual stuff, best for the curls he liked to tell himself but it was the fact getting out of a routine was stressful enough and if his life currently had be so unpredictable in the last few hours, if he could at least control this it would thing seem a little easier. Oranges. That was the scent. After he collected the shampoo, conditioner and body wash. He made his way to pick up a toothbrush, his own tooth paste, deodorant and some face wash. He paid and left. 

He caught a few people looking at him, his parents had bound to have posted some bullshit story of why their second child had now ran away or just a cover up for the pictures circulating social media. He ignored it and made his way ti get some clothes. Feeling uncomfortable, he decided to make this stop as quick he could, this resulted in him buying some more socks, underwear, two pairs of pants and a mix of tops, jumpers and a cardigan. He leave the shop and puts his hopped up but in that moment he hears a camera go off, then another and soon he feels like the whole centre is staring at him with judgemental eyes and it consumes him. He keeps walking but it feels like its not quick enough, like he's rushing his way through quick sand or truing to run through shallow water, like running away from a monster in a dream. Was this all a dream? His palms sweat against the bags he's holding and his heart feels like its out o this chest and how swift its beating is visible, another reason for people to stare at the "freak". His vision blurs as his eyes are consumed by tears as he's trying to make way for the exit in this maze of vulnerability. "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. You're pathetic. _Stop_ it." he repeats to himself as if that was a way to calm him down not rile himself up further.

The exit appears as if everyone has been hiding it from him in some amusing game he wasn't part of. He keeps walking not exactly knowing wear the bakery is just in the direction they drove off earlier. He typing in bakeries near me rather than texting Sirius presuming he wouldn't get a reply or not a quick enough one. _7 minute walk_. He could do that in 4 with the face he was at now. He listened to his music before seeing the bakery. Potter bakery. He was still shaking by the time he entered the shop and saw Sirius. "What bus can I get? I want to leave now. Please Sirius" he quietly pleaded. 

"What ha- I'll ask James." Sirius walked off to what seemed to be an office or stock room or something the sort and he heard James say, "I finished counting stock anyway so I was about to take my break," as he left the room. 

James just looks at Regulus before walking to his deep red car and gets in. Regulus still sits in the back In the corner away from him and doesn't say a word until James turns and says, "did you use my shampoo?"


	4. I hate James Potter a little less

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Regulus bond and get to no one another

Regulus remained silent after laughing at James's playful comment for the whole car ride. He felt dizzy, his right leg couldn't stop shaking and he was pretty sure James kept checking on his through the mirror but that could easily be his paranoia. When the car stopped James just hopped out and walked inside and made way for the lift waiting for Regulus which gave his mixed feelings of comfort someone wanted him there and was checking he was okay but also like he was a pet James was just waiting for. "What music do you listen do?" James asked but Regulus doesn't want to speak, he doesn't want to listen, he doesn't want to engage in a conversation he just wants to be hidden in a warm comfortable place he can fall asleep in or be with his thought at the very least. "Err, usually like Cigarettes after sex, Cage the elephant. Music like that but I like most genres really." Regulus mumbles in return out of politeness.

"Cigarettes after sex is a cool name for a band. I swear I recognise the name."

"Apocalypse."

"What?" The lift is at there floor so they both walk out which distracted James and he begins to unlock the door and they step inside. 

"Thats the song you probably recognise." Regulus faintly smirks as he makes way for Sirius's room to hide from reality till he can find his mask again to put on a brave face. James didn't respond or h didn't hear him at least. Reg drops his bags in the corner next to his backpack. He quickly changes into more of Sirius's clothes, his smell is a comfort if anything, reminds him of when they were young and he'd protect him from all of the arguments with Walburga. The clothes were a bit loose but not baggy by any means which he liked for relaxing at home but he didn't exactly have than option so he'd make do. He closes the curtains and blinds before making his way into bed until he hears a faint knock on the door. 

"Come in."

"Hey Reg, Regulus. I- I know we don't exactly know each other but I just wanted to see if you were okay. I don't exactly know what's happened and im not sure if why you wanted to come home today was related to you coming here but... I don't know. Sirius hasn't told me anything just so you know but I just want you to know im here I guess. As cheesy as that sounds." James was kind, it was infuriating. He wanted to not like him, stealing his brother and all but... fuck. In that moment it felt like he was the only person who cared. Sirius HAD to care, or it felt like that at least because they were bound by blood, but that didn't mean much any more- not really. 

"Im sure you've seen something on twitter." Regulus whispers not making eye contact, he sat up on the bed and moved over indicating James could sit down too. That polite, right?

"Actually, I only have instagram because Sirius forced me. Other than that im not one for social media. I feel like its all fake and full of people lying so on so forth."

"Well, im presuming you're not homophobic because of Sirius but im pansexual and pictures of me at a club got leaked when I was kissing a boy and _the blacks_ saw and it just went down hill from there."

"No im not, definitely not. Being the raging bisexual I am," he laughed, it was cute how he could make light of every situation. No! It was just nice, not cute, "Sirius doesn't talk about them much but im glad you're out of there now at least. Think of all the possibilities without them nagging you and sitting on your shoulder."

"Thats true, but university. A job, a..." Regulus huffed and lay back and James mimicked the action. 

"Put apocalypse on, I want to hear it." James said quietly. 

"What if you don't like it."

"Shut up." James smiled. He put the covers over himself and huffed. This made Regulus laugh a little and he queued it on his Spotify before putting his playlist on. They lay there in a comfortable silence for about three songs until Regulus realised James was on a break for work. 

"James..."

"Yesssss dear."

"Shut up. Anyway. Aren't you meant to be at work again soon?"

"Oh yeah... about that. I text Sirius before to shut after an hour because the bakery was dead anyway so he said he was going to Remus's to give you some space or something. He told me not to say because you'd freak out."

"I- yes I would freak out. You didn't have to do that for me." Regulus sat up and turned to face James who had his arms crossed behind his head and smirked as if the situation was amusing. He was angry. He wasn't some charity case!

"It wasn't _for_ you. It was just a coincidence, it happens often on a Sunday. So don't get your knickers in a twist _Reg_." He wanted to be mad at James, he's worry about Sirius later. But he couldn't be, he was one of those people everyone loved which made him hate him in every sense of the word but some how hate him less than he did yesterday. He hated him little less. 

"Whatever." His response was snarky, he didn't mean it to be he just didn't know what to say but didn't exactly want to leave the way they were. He was a good... friend he told himself. He didn't want to ruin that after all. 

He turned around but didn't lay back down until he felt James's hand on his shoulder pulling him down. "just be quiet and let me appreciate your taste in music." James laughed, Regulus was sure it was just in a friendly manner but not only did it make his stomach fill with butterflies just... below him stomach too. He ignored it and didn't say anything just lay there with a presence not too far away from him on his right. It wasn't long until he fell asleep, dreaming of nothing. 

Regulus never dreamt of anything since he could remember, minus the odd nightmare, but other than that it was constant nothingness for as many hours he could manage to stay there. He thought it to be a happy place, when your life is filled with little control feeling like a puppet for you parents to prod , his nothing, his black, was beautiful. A place were time would stop and he didn't have to listen to anyone or anything. That was until he cut the strings from the puppeteers so he landed face first on the floor. Which was just as scary because in a way he was just as out of control as before but he had to take responsibility this time which was scarier than before. The blacks weren't the same excuse they used to be. 

He jolted up confused, his phone on the night stand. _3:04pm._ Regulus turns to see James not at his side which made him upset, not realising why. _Men, oblivious-ish._ He stumbles towards the door still drunk on sleep to see both Sirius and James in the living room. Sirius on the couch with another man, Remus presumably, and James in the arm chair. He wanted to say hi but in that moment he felt so small, so young, naive, irresponsible. He froze outside the door for what felt like an eternity till he hears his name being called so he walks over towards them. 

"So our sleeping beauty has finally awoke." Sirius cackled. 

"I wish I didn't if you're going to call me that." Regulus returned humorously. He felt James's eyes burn his back, why wasn't he saying anything? 

"Im Remus, presuming you're Regulus. Sirius has told me a lot about you, its nice to finally meet you."

"You assumed correctly, nice to meet you too," Regulus smiled, "Sirius is it, erm alright if I get something to eat?" He felt awkward and could feel his cheeks heating up as he turned to look at James too but surely him just grabbing food was rude?

"Actually we were going to order a pizza if you want some of that?" Sirius looked at him puzzled, "come to the kitchen Reg I just wanna show you something."

"Yeah and erm alright." He turned towards the kitchen and Sirius followed. Did he do something wrong? 

When he made it to the kitchen he sat on the counter, his stomach grumbled. Sirius followed him in and shouted, "Re, order than pizza im fucking starving."

"Erm whats up Sirius?" Reg questioned. 

"Reg, get whatever you'd like from here. You're my brother, my home is yours. Its not like at the blacks fucking asking permission to get a drink of what. If you're hungry get whatever you want." Regulus remained silent, his face still flushed from before. "You never go pink, what's happened?"

"Is James mad at me?" Regulus whispered, "if he wants me gone I'll leave."

"Why would he want you gone you idiot he's actually wanted to meet you for ages so I don't see why he'd be mad at you for any reason. Besides I pay just as much rent as he does so he can deal with it." He chuckled, "Since I got back he had been in his room in a shit mood anyway, don't know why but I guess im normal the moody one so we must leave him be." It made Sirius lowly chuckle. The rest of the night was spent with everyone eating pizza, laughing and Regulus smiling more than he has in a long time, but something still felt off. Why wasn't James being how he was with him a few hours ago or at least how he was when they first met?


	5. The party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and James have a party, more Sirius. Things don't go well. But sometimes things get worse before they get better right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- SEXUAL SCENE (ill say before hand but it is the majority of the chapter)

Over the next few weeks Regulus managed to get a job at the local corner shop, it didn't pay much but enough to contribute towards shopping because Sirius refused to let him pay for rent as they took turns in beds. When Sirius was sleeping at home, which was rare he'd stay on the couch but when Sirius was at Remus's he'd stay in his brothers bed. James continued to treat him like a ghost and just looked through him. He didn't know what he'd done to upset him but regaining his mask allowed him to pretend he wasn't bothered. His mask. It didn't feel the same since he moved away from Walburga and Orion, made friends with his brothers friends, but it was once again easy to hide his hurt or it was until the party. 

Sirius's reason for said party consisted of one word, "alcohol," which I mean... it was very convincing even if he knew he'd sit in the corner sipping his drink listening to the music. It was a few hours before the party and Sirius was putting some decorations up, which didn't exactly make sense considering it wasn't a celebration but Remus just said not to question him. Remus and him in the recent weeks had became good friends, it made him happy his brother had someone else, they balanced each other out. James however, after that day, they had barely spoke and he was still in a mood which made the guilt grown in the pit of his stomach day by day. The party was at 6, so they had 2 hours left and Regulus intended to get very drunk and socialise, he wanted to make, somewhat, his own friends just for a sense of accomplishment at least. Sirius wanted him to help with the banners but James, the saint, Potter decided it was his job. It was the nicest thing he'd done for him in weeks, even if the action wasn't with that intention. 

*an hour into the party*

Regulus mixed drinks, stupid mistake, but it sped up the fuzziness in his brain he desired. He felt his back burning from stares, one persons, that he recognised but he ignored it. Flirted with anyone in site even if they were all older. This boy called Peter kept talking to him, it was completely platonic but he noticed that whenever he got close to Peter James would stare more and if it wasn't fun to wind him up when he hadn't spoke to him in weeks, what was? Peter studied engineering at the local university and knows James from secondary school. The music blared, his mind fuzzy. It was a perfect night, he was up dancing. More than he expected from himself. It was great until someone dragged him into the _other_ bedroom. "What the fuck?" Regulus managed to slur out. 

"What are you playing at?" James lowly yells. Was he for real, was he drunk?

"J-james, what are _you_ playing at?"

"I-"

"No, you haven't spoke to me in weeks for no reason then you drag me into your room for some _unknown_ reason? Please enlighten me on you excuse for being angry." Where did this come from? Regulus would regret this in the morning he was positive. 

"I have... my reasons. Don't speak to Pete, he's bad news. I dont even know why he's here."

"Well I mean, he seems okay. Tell me why you haven't been speaking to me now or im leaving. I was actually enjoying myself for once. Please don't ruin this for me." James stepped closer towards him leaving a few centimetres between them, Regulus didn't pull back. He just stared up at him. The music was still loud in the living room/kitchen but he was quieter in here. James stared at him, breathing heavily as if he was out of breathe or he was really worked up over something and it was stressing him out. "James, tell me."

"When you fell asleep that day when we were in Sirius's bed."

"Yes..." Regulus's heart was pounding. That day. That fucking day. 

"You... you turned towards me and hugged me In your sleep."

"Oh- Im sorry if it made you uncomfortable." A few seconds ago he was so ready to argue, to be angry at him but now he was speechless, stunned to silence. Felt awkward because that day was so intimate and precious to him until he woke up to find James angry and not telling him why. James was also very clearly drunk right now, but he didn't show it a lot. 

"No," he stepped closer placing his right hand on Regulus's cheek, "for fucks sake!" He pulled away, leaving Regulus with a pit in his stomach. James moved away as if he was going to leave his room. 

"Don't you dare leave me, you won't explain. Don't leave me in the dark." Regulus managed to say, he felt close to tears. He didn't know why but this upset him, a lot, he wanted James to be near him. 

"Its stupid, im so stupid! I can't." James trailed off. He was dizzy he leaned on the door before Regulus slowly walked towards him. James grabbed him top leaving no room between them. 

Regulus looked up at him confused almost, silent once again. He didn't know what to say but god he didn't want James to let go. James flicked between his eyes and his mouth, his lips. Regulus mimicked this, his heart pounded. He pulled away for a second reaching for James's glasses and taking them off slowly. Taking advantage of being able to touch his skin as much as he could without it being weird. He folded them up and walked towards his bed stand placing them on there and walked back towards James back to how close they were before. James blankly stared but allowed him to do it all. This was a good sign? He reached up to put his hand on James's face stroking down from the slide to holding his chin, thumb on his chin and his index below. He moved towards James's ear and whispered, "tell me what's on your mind."

"I liked the hug... because it was you, you're my best friends brother I shouldn't feel so happy about it." Regulus just smirked, it was all the alcohol giving him the confidence but he was going to use this to his advantage while he can. Regulus's thumb moved to James's lips to tease. He wouldn't look at him in the eyes, he just looked at his lips. "This is unfair Reg."

"I think what you did to me for weeks was, personally." That was the last straw for James. 

(Sexual scene begins)

Regulus's face was cupped with two hands and he was pulled in. Their lips collided with drunk force, James's lips were warm and soft. They moved in sync, it felt so right. If anything, in that moment only then did Regulus click how he felt for James. Fancying his older brothers best friend, how fun was this going to be. Regulus reached for James's hair running his fingers through it. Quickly it got heated, Regulus asked for an invitation into James's mouth with his tongue. Their tongues touched. The kiss became forceful, they were both inpatient but Regulus made sure he was in control. Battling for dominance and quickly winning. Convenient considering he had James pinned against a wall after all. A quiet moan escaped James's lips, he moved his hands from Regulus's jaw to down his waist towards his bum. Regulus pulled away for a second smirking at James and his swollen lips. He reached and held James's jaw with one hand while the other reached for near his neck. "Fuck." James mumbles under his breath, Regulus suddenly felt something against his thigh which just made him smile as he looked down. Regulus pulled James's face towards him kissing him making sure he kept all the control. He slowly pushed his crotch towards James to see if he was allowed, "is this okay?" he whispered. 

"Yes, fuck. Yes." This just made Regulus chuckle as he kissed him again slowly pushing himself against James, this resulted in them both lowly moaning but the friction from the jeans made the feeling so little. He could hear James fumbling to lock the door. Suddenly James pulled away which shocked Reg, he grabbed Regs hand and pulled him towards the bed. They both pulled there shoes off quickly and lay on the bed, Regulus crawled on top of him kissing him hard. Making sure he could do it as much as possible, tasting inside his mouth. He grinding on James below him until James tugged at his top hinting for him to take it off so he sat onto of James as he did, James doing the sam below him. James looked at Regulus's jeans and he understood immediately so they both began taking off each others. They panted heavily, the tension build in those moments to the point of Regulus aching below. James then got on top of him kissing down his neck. The lack of control scared him but in the moment he'd take anything to relive the feeling below. The kissing were gentle at first until Regulus moaned and James took that as a sign to suck. James began giving a hickey, Regulus started moaning louder, James's hand lowered down feeling around the inside of his thighs, teasing him while scattering little hickeys over his neck as if he was some sort of canvas. "Can I? Only if you're comfortable." James breathed heavily. Regulus just nodded in return. James's hand suddenly felt his dick, rubbing up and down over his boxers. He started kissing his chest getting closer and closer to where he hand is. 

He begins to pull Regulus's boxers down and his dick was rock hard which just made James smirk but made Regulus feel a little exposed. All he could do was watch, run his hands through James's crazy but ridiculously soft hair. James kissed around it then down towards his thigh giving him more hickeys. "Fuck, James stop teasing me. Its- its unfair." He trailed off. After hearing that James worked his way back up to Regulus's dick kissing along it towards the head, slowly licking up the pre-cum along his slit then licking all the way down to his balls and taking one in his mouth using his tongue to glide along it. Regulus squirmed below him so James used his hands to hold his hips down, this made Regulus feel out of control but as much as it was a foreign feeling to him he loved it. James worked his way back up to the head and licked around it making Regulus moan, slowly he took more and more of Regulus until he was deep throating the dick. He did it painfully slow which made Reg slowly buck his hips. James slowly began to speed up, Regulus became louder by the second until James suddenly stopped sat up grabbing Regulus by the jaw kissing him hard for a moment and whispered, "be quiet, we don't want your brother to hear, do we?" He just crossed his head in response. 

James continued and sped up, one hand on his hip the other at the bottom of Regs dick and began to wank it while sucking the rest. His head bobbed up and down until he could feel the dick begin to twitch. "J-james im going to c-," when James heard that he sped up taking as much of Regulus as he could every time he got to the top licking the head. After a few more seconds he cums filling James's mouth. He pulls away and swallows. Reg pulls up his boxers and James sits over him beginning to kissing. Regulus was below an began to touch down his stomach towards...

The door begins to be banged on, "James are you in here, mate you're missing all the party!" Yells a drunk Sirius. 


End file.
